Since I really don't care...

Disclaimer: I'm venting. Bear with me.

When I was about to turn 30, a friend told me that my “whatever” attitude was going to get worse. Way worse. I was already one of those “I don’t give a fuck, I’m doin’ me” type of people, so according to him it was going to get a lot worse. And, he was right…


Don’t get me wrong, I love people. I love observing people, I love getting to know people and I especially love spending time with people. But with that I’ve had to learn not to give anyone anything they themselves are not willing to give. If I’m there for you and you’re there for me, we are golden. I don’t care if I only have a real conversation with you twice a year. As long as we’re both actively engaged in the friendship, we are and will always be friends.

With that being said, I know I don’t have a lot of friends. I happen to think its better that way. I know a whole lot of people, but I can count my real friends on a hand and a half. My real friends are the ones who make an effort, who check on me, whose words are backed up by their actions. And I thank them for that. But you acquaintances have gotten it all wrong.

If your idea of friendship is to be inconsiderate, shallow, rude and selfish, I really don’t want you around. Everyone has their issues and a true mark of friendship is to accept others as they accept you. But in order for that to happen, you have to accept your faults. You have to be able to take personal responsibility for your actions. If you let someone down then ignore it and them, you’re basically the worst kind of asshole. You think you’re entitled to treat people however you want. And, judging by the precedent, you would probably be super hot if someone did the same shit to you.

People always give me the “she’s got an attitude” look when they get dry responses from me. But, I would ask folks to take a good long look at how they’ve treated people. That might not be my attitude you’re seeing, that look may just tell you how little I now value you as a person. Life is too short to surround yourself with people who make you feel like they don’t give a fuck about you. It just is. None of us should have people in our lives that don’t respect, value or care about us. If I’m in control of my quality of life, then I’m in control of how much bullshit I put up with.

I will ride or die for certain people in my life. They know it, I know it. They have off days just like I do, but I will never question their friendship. They’ve put up with my mess and I owe them the same. But the rest of you fuckers? I don’t owe you shit. And I’m not giving you shit. I’ve done my fair share of being there for people far longer than I should have. But after years of doing that and getting nothing in return, I finally got fed all the way up. Someone once told me that I couldn’t just cut them off. Oh, but it’s a skill I’ve gotten damn good at it. No more toxic people, no more users, no more risking my stability for folks who have none of their own, just NO MORE.

Now that I got that off my chest, I must say this…I have a small but mighty group of friends who push me to be better ,call me on my shit, sit with me when I cry, encourage me to take chances, and once in a while give me permission to be bad! LOL I love you guys very much. You know who you are…