I’ve been working very hard at changing my habits and lifestyle for the better. For years, I seem to have always been fighting an uphill battle in my life. 2 steps forward, 2 steps back with pit stop of good times along the way. I think a lot of us do that. I think its survival. We take what comes our way and find ways to cope. For me, I had developed the habit of shutting myself down. Doing what I had to, to get things done, then holing up in my bedroom in front of the TV…or going out so I could be away. Nothing wrong with either, but I realized a few months ago that I had stopped being actively in control of the life I led. Mine was a life of defense. And as long as I didn’t take control, what happened in my life would remain the same.
In order to do that, I looked inward. There’s really nothing I can do about my lack of funds, out of work family members or my responsibilities. Those things weren’t going anywhere. What had to change was my approach to this life. I started by trying to increase my awareness. About everything. Deepak Chopra’s The Book of Secrets helped me refocus the way I had been years ago. It brought my awareness back to my spirit, mind and body instead of the chaos going on around me. I had allowed stress and the burdens of other people to make me physically ill. Literally. Never in my life had I been sick so many times or had such bad back problems. Something had to change.
One thing about me, if I get on a kick I stay on a kick for a while. 1st I turned off the TV and took a month off of going out. While I was doing that, I watched documentary after documentary about our food, our politics and our world. I started making even more educated decision. Starting with my diet. That was the most drastic thing I changed. After learning about what GMOs are and what companies do to our food supply to increase their profits (and limit the regulations) it scared the shit out of me. The things we’ve done to play God and make money are equal parts fascinating and disgusting.
I gave up meat years ago, but I had turned into a junk food vegetarian. Not healthy at all. Not only was I eating more processed foods than “clean” food, I was allowing my schedule, social calendar, stress level and fatigue tell me what to eat. Why prep and cook when I’m too tired, too busy, not feeling good or have an event to get to? When I try, I’m actually the queen of discipline. I had only become disciplined at making excuses.
So, the processed food went out of the house and office, and got replaced by fruits and vegetables. I started taking extra time out of my evenings to cook and extra time on the weekends to actually plan meals and shop. But it wasn’t really enough to detox me body from the mess I’d been consuming. Enter the 30 days…
For the past 30 days, I have eaten no starches other than potatoes (since they’re a veggie), a minuscule amount of dairy and every version of a vegetarian meal I could think of. And the last 3 days, soup and juice. Prior to this 30 day fast, I had already been eating better for about a month and a half, so it wasn’t that hard. Except for today, the last day. After 3 days of not chewing a thing, I’m through! But the sacrifice (more the obedience to what I knew was the right thing for ME), was totally worth it. My cravings have changed, I discovered that I really like kale and not much of what’s on TV, I lost 10 pounds, started going to Bally’s 4-5 days a week again, took up yoga and meditation which helped me focus spiritually and manage my stress. Now feel a lot more like myself. I feel a lot more like the person I’m supposed to be, living the lifestyle I’m supposed to live.
They say it takes about 3 weeks to create a new habit in your life. I think that’s about right. I know that I’m not going to dive back into junk food and laziness, because I don’t want to. It doesn’t appeal to me right now. Nor does ugliness, gossip, ignorance, greed and a myriad of other things that don’t really fit a life lived with awareness. Not everyone has been supportive of all of these changes. And I get that. But that’s more about them than it is about me. This will sound all new age-y but, if my heightened level of consciousness bothers you…you probably don’t fit into this life I’m living anyway.
So, here I am at the end of my 30 days, knowing that this in only the beginning of the path I’m on; knowing that the positives in my life have doubled even if none of the circumstances have changed; knowing that everyone won’t get me now and that’s OK. I’m OK. Exactly where I am right now…
But, DAMN I’m hungry!! LOL
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