So, I said I wasn't going to talk about this, but it only took a dozen of my friends getting a great laugh out of it to convince me other wise...
There was a guy I recently met. He seemed nice enough, and I am in my new phase of being open minded in this whole dating thing. The first week, it was cool. A few conversations and text messages later we arranged to meet up. Nothing serious, just a very casual afternoon conversations. At this point I should have known there were issues, but I'm being open minded, right? Sign #1: during our first "date" he told me a long story about letting go of someone that didn't have time for him and then questioned me about being to busy to date. The situation with the last chick seemed a little too fresh, but I looked past it. He also went on and on about my NEEDING to cook.
After that, it was all text messages, Sign #2. ALL text messages? And no plans. Bad sign, but sometimes things can be adjusted if you just address them. So, he asked to see me and we went for coffee. A few times during all of our conversations, he had mentioned his myspace page, but I didn't pay it any mind. Hold that tid bit for later. I mentioned to him that I would prefer that he made plans if he really wanted to get to know me. Then the HUGE red light, Sign #3. He said "I don't want to be on schedule with someone I'm VERY interested in". Huh? You really think it's about being on a schedule? No, it's really about you making an effort.
The next morning, my grandfather passed away. My family and I had been on alert for 2 weeks and we knew it was going to happen, we were just waiting. So, he knew what was going on. I told him what had happened and then...nothing. Haven't heard from him since. That was Sign #4, the nail in the coffin! A couple days after that, I came across his myspace page on the page of another acquaintance. He told me all of the entertainment related things he did, but he left out something very important. He. Was. A. MIME.
Seriously, a MIME. I'm not playing, though I wish I was. And it seems he was a mime for Jesus at some point or another. I have no issue with what you choose to do or what your ministry is. If you've been called to something (for real) then do that, but be honest about it too. There was something silly about it. Mostly because he never even mentioned it. Was he embarrassed? Did he want me to find out on my own and then decide?
Ok, so the mime thing was a complete turn off for me, for a number of reasons. But, the turn off had actually started before that. Sign #1: It seemed to be all about what he wanted, Sign #2: I think I'm worth more than a text message. We all are. If you're serious, act like it. Pick up the phone. Text messages don't give me (or you)the benefit of tone of voice and inflection. Both of which are important pieces of communication. Besides, the last person that told me that they "don't really talk on the phone" was actually married. Someone else once told me that I'm special because they actually ANSWER the phone for me. Seriously. Sorry, but I'm over men making everything work for them and them alone. Then there was Sign #3: Making plans is an inconvenience for you? Actual dates are a problem? So, how exactly did you plan on convincing me to give you all the stuff YOU wanted? And the final straw, Sign #4: Something happens in my life and you disappear? Not even a text to ask how I'm doing? That tells me that you're immature and unable to handle anything that's not about you. I don't want you to fix anything or over involve yourself, but at least ACT like you give a shit about how I'm doing.
So, by the time I found out about the miming, I was already over it. That just provided me and my friends endless amounts of entertainment!
The point is early detection! If you pay attention off the bat, people will tell you if they're worth your time and energy. If they aren't you can move on before you've invested much. I used to be one of those "hang in there" women, who would hope that they'd change, I'd change them or they'd wake up one day and have an epiphany. It doesn't work that way. People will show you up front what they're about, what they have available to you and where they stand. It's up to you to decide to pay attention. So, I'm now very aware. I'm not worried about why he disappeared, it was for the best. It wasn't a fit, never would be. So both of us should find a better fit somewhere else. It's just that simple. It's like the doctor says, early detection is the best to way to ensure your health. They can treat, remove or revers anything that will harm you later. We should all be the doctor to our dating lives...
*A note: I don't care anymore. I'm talking. I'm writing. I'm relaying my experiences. I'm not putting anyone on blast, I WILL NOT DO IT so don't ask. This is about me learning form my experiences, not putting people out there.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
We know you can sing and everything but...
Hey folks! I'm writing this because I've noticed that over the last 10 years of so there's been a shift in focus in the music industry. They don't like talent any more. I'm not talking about the entire industry just the 5% that supply most of the commercial releases. The big boys that throw money behind the media blitz that tells us that, despite our actual appreciation for singers, we WILL need to buy Rihanna's latest offering.
A few years ago, when Jessica Simpson was first starting her reality show, she said on camera during an episode that her record label had told her to "stop singing so much" because the fans wanted someone they could sing along to. They basically told her to dial her talent down to make it more tangible. Now, this makes no sense to me because people used to be fans of singers, musicians, athletes and other entertainers because they had some sort of talent that set them apart from the rest of the world. But Jessica did what they asked, even when she didn't agree, and what resulted was a bunch of airy records that she had a hard time performing live.
If you've even watch a person who belts try to whisper through a song, it's painful. Mariah does it, Jessica does it and neither of them look like they're comfortably singing anything until they get out of their heads and into their diaphragm and do what they were originally signed to do.
The big box labels, which at this point are more like Big Lots than Target, used to sign singers. I was watching Monica's reality show and wondering why female artist can't sing like she did even at 14. Same with Brandy. Usher could sing, Christina could sing, even the boy bands could sing. And honestly, some of the artist we think of as non singers have more skill in the tapes of them as kids than any of their records would suggest. Take a look at an old tape of 9 year old Britney Spears and you wonder why 16 year old Britney was SO bad. At one point she was actually trying to sing.
But she was part of the beginning of this whole "sign someone we can mold into a star" thing. Talent is optional, and those who are serious about their craft need not apply. So what is happening is that they are now under producing the vocals of people with talent and throwing big budget effects on everyone else. Now, you better dial down the talent or go the independent route. And people who used to be singers are opting not to sing just to keep up.
Who had a bigger hit single, Mario or Brandy? When I first heard Mario's Break Up, I thought it was a god effort for a non singing studio artist. Then I found out it was Mario. Huh? But he can sing. Why was his lead single 3 notes of repetition? Why wasn't he singing and why was he auto tuned to death? On the other hand, Brandy actually sang (honey, SANG) Long Distance. The song disappeared as soon as we heard it and the video was right behind it. Break Up won't go away, because of course Gucci Man and Sean Garrett are such gems. I'm being sarcastic, but you get the point.
But can someone explain what happened to me? Omarion's new single, he's not singing at all. He's basically talking. And Jerimih...I feel sorry for the kid. I think Birthday Sex was one of the most horrible songs I've heard in a long time. Break Up to Make Up, is a much better single. BUT, my issue is this, it only took me seeing a clip of him live one time to know that he got screwed. He plays keys and he actually can sing. They took that talent and turned it into Birthday Sex?
But, Jerimih took advantage of the game. He wanted on, he got on. What he's going to find out is that when he wants to really make a mark as a real artist with merit, no one will believe him. Talent or no talent, we'll be holding Birthday Sex against him for the rest of his career.
I know that part of the problem is that the record industry is no longer being run by people who can actually MAKE records anymore. There are a handful of exec who can still play or produce, but even they are under the watchful eye of the companies that have financed them and kept them going. It's now about the numbers and if T-Pain makes money, then every single record that comes out needs to have the best possible chance of making some of those dollars. So, get in there and auto tune something! If Kanye makes different sell, then please somebody throw on some neon and talk about your angst.
Sing? Play? No one can prove to us in the boardroom that you'll make money doing that, so we don't care! Yeah, Beyonce can sing, but no one cares as long as she pops something. So, Esther Dean, we need you to make a song about your ass if this is going to work. We can't make money on an Anita Baker or Regina Belle (or even a Brandy or Monica) in 2009, but we'll give you Melanie Fiona and sell her as the "real deal". We know singers who sold millions 10 years ago can probably singe circles around her, but she LOOKS the part! We know you can sing and everything, but...
A few years ago, when Jessica Simpson was first starting her reality show, she said on camera during an episode that her record label had told her to "stop singing so much" because the fans wanted someone they could sing along to. They basically told her to dial her talent down to make it more tangible. Now, this makes no sense to me because people used to be fans of singers, musicians, athletes and other entertainers because they had some sort of talent that set them apart from the rest of the world. But Jessica did what they asked, even when she didn't agree, and what resulted was a bunch of airy records that she had a hard time performing live.
If you've even watch a person who belts try to whisper through a song, it's painful. Mariah does it, Jessica does it and neither of them look like they're comfortably singing anything until they get out of their heads and into their diaphragm and do what they were originally signed to do.
The big box labels, which at this point are more like Big Lots than Target, used to sign singers. I was watching Monica's reality show and wondering why female artist can't sing like she did even at 14. Same with Brandy. Usher could sing, Christina could sing, even the boy bands could sing. And honestly, some of the artist we think of as non singers have more skill in the tapes of them as kids than any of their records would suggest. Take a look at an old tape of 9 year old Britney Spears and you wonder why 16 year old Britney was SO bad. At one point she was actually trying to sing.
But she was part of the beginning of this whole "sign someone we can mold into a star" thing. Talent is optional, and those who are serious about their craft need not apply. So what is happening is that they are now under producing the vocals of people with talent and throwing big budget effects on everyone else. Now, you better dial down the talent or go the independent route. And people who used to be singers are opting not to sing just to keep up.
Who had a bigger hit single, Mario or Brandy? When I first heard Mario's Break Up, I thought it was a god effort for a non singing studio artist. Then I found out it was Mario. Huh? But he can sing. Why was his lead single 3 notes of repetition? Why wasn't he singing and why was he auto tuned to death? On the other hand, Brandy actually sang (honey, SANG) Long Distance. The song disappeared as soon as we heard it and the video was right behind it. Break Up won't go away, because of course Gucci Man and Sean Garrett are such gems. I'm being sarcastic, but you get the point.
But can someone explain what happened to me? Omarion's new single, he's not singing at all. He's basically talking. And Jerimih...I feel sorry for the kid. I think Birthday Sex was one of the most horrible songs I've heard in a long time. Break Up to Make Up, is a much better single. BUT, my issue is this, it only took me seeing a clip of him live one time to know that he got screwed. He plays keys and he actually can sing. They took that talent and turned it into Birthday Sex?
But, Jerimih took advantage of the game. He wanted on, he got on. What he's going to find out is that when he wants to really make a mark as a real artist with merit, no one will believe him. Talent or no talent, we'll be holding Birthday Sex against him for the rest of his career.
I know that part of the problem is that the record industry is no longer being run by people who can actually MAKE records anymore. There are a handful of exec who can still play or produce, but even they are under the watchful eye of the companies that have financed them and kept them going. It's now about the numbers and if T-Pain makes money, then every single record that comes out needs to have the best possible chance of making some of those dollars. So, get in there and auto tune something! If Kanye makes different sell, then please somebody throw on some neon and talk about your angst.
Sing? Play? No one can prove to us in the boardroom that you'll make money doing that, so we don't care! Yeah, Beyonce can sing, but no one cares as long as she pops something. So, Esther Dean, we need you to make a song about your ass if this is going to work. We can't make money on an Anita Baker or Regina Belle (or even a Brandy or Monica) in 2009, but we'll give you Melanie Fiona and sell her as the "real deal". We know singers who sold millions 10 years ago can probably singe circles around her, but she LOOKS the part! We know you can sing and everything, but...
Friday, October 23, 2009
DID YOU HEAR THAT???
If you haven't gotten Steph Jones' new "Lifetape" Gravity, you're missing out. Tons and tons of artist are asking us to pay for albums that aren't worth a second listen. But, here he his giving us GREAT music for FREE. Again, it's another free release, like Hollyweerd's Candy For Kleptos, that is better than most people's album. A couple of my favorites from Gravity: Up Up and Away, Gravity (a remake of John Mayer's song featuring PJ Morton) and my #1 pick A Girl Named Holly Wood.
So go get Steph Jones GRAVITY...NOW!
Now onto some releases that are totally worth your hard earned dollars!!!
Nicolay's new album City Lights Vol 2: Shibuya is a fantastic piece of work. Already Nicolay is one of my favorite producers because of his diversity and musicality. He's also a great executive producer. There is a difference. Some people make great tracks, others make great work. His is great work. It's a total package from beginning to end that has been thoughtfully put together with not a hair out of place. I'm partial to this song because of the voice of Carlitta Durand, who is just amazing! Honestly, she has my dream job on this album...ENJOY!
If you have been following the career of Me'Shell Ndegeocello, you know that each time she releases an album, you will get certain things. You will get a song that speaks to something in your life (it's a guarantee), you will get a complete picture of the wherever Me"shell is in her life (not details, just the vibe) and you'll get at least 2-3 songs you can't hear enough. Go back in the catalog and see if you catch what I'm saying...Plantation Lullabies (Outside Your Door, If That's Your Boyfriend, Dredlocks)...skip ahead to Bitter (Beautiful, Fool of Me, Sincerity)...stop at Comfort Woman for all three Love Songs...and visit her last recording The World Has Made Me The Man Of My Dreams (Lovely Lovely, Elliptical, Relief: A Stripper Classic). This album, Devil's Halo is no different.
I skipped a WHOLE bunch of amazing music in there, but I was trying to make a point. Well, 2 points. #1, STOP BUYING BULLSHIT when there are (#2) consistently great artist making great music. I saw her last night (for the 2nd time this year) and was amazed once again. It was one of the best live music shows I've seen and that band (huuunnnniiiiii!) was amazing!
So, let me wet your whistle with something safe on this album. Ready for the World's Let Me Love You Down. Why safe? Well, the song is the song and automatically, Me"shell's voice adds tons of dimension to it, but it's really about the music. The music makes a good (classic)song GREAT, sexy, yearning and real in a way that the original could never be. Enjoy!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
What do you mean "Can I cook?"
Recently a man asked me, "So, can you cook?" Which he then followed up with, "I'm gonna need you to cook!" He was laughing and obviously joking, but I got a tiny bit annoyed for two reasons.
For one...the dude was sitting across from me. You see me man, do I look like cooking is a problem for me? LOL The second reason is that we were about 5 minutes into a conversation and I was already getting a taste of what HE wanted. I really wanted to shoot back, "Do YOU cook? Can you buy a bag of groceries? Make a reservation? Drive thru? Something?" I don't know when this happened, but when did we start giving out the laundry list before we got to know someone?
I've noticed this with a lot of people, men and women. The mystery is gone completely. We're basically negotiating the deal. But, I hate that. How about we just get to know our potential suitors and potential friends naturally? Find out the information as you go and see what happens. We don't know how to do that anymore. We show up with a list of all the things that the previous people did that we didn't like. Then we play 20 question to see if the person we're talking to should be ruled out over the first cup of coffee.
Honestly, I don't think he meant anything by it, but I also don't think he even heard himself say it. OK, it doesn't actually hurt to know what annoys people up front. How many times have you sat around with your friends playing "I can't stand..."? We should be just as honest with everyone. But are we trying to get to know each other or are we just eliminating people?
How do we get anywhere with that really? Don't you have to bring something to the table as well? If you're trying so hard to see if I'm worth your effort, don't you think I'm doing the same thing? Then why try to beat each other to the punch? I really think it's bad form to tell people everything I need from them right of the bat. Doesn't that make me selfish?
Would you do that to your new friends? Just walk up and tell them, "I need you to support me when shit's going wrong or we can't kick it!" No, you get to know them and find out if they can be a supportive friend. What about a job interview? Could you even imagine walking in and telling the boss, "So what benefits do you offer, what's in this job for me?", before you've given them a reason to hire you? The first thing they'd think is, "And WHY exactly should you get the job?"
I give people a pass a lot and on this I did. It wasn't worth going back and forth. What it really shows me is that whatever experiences this man had left him wary of women. Understandable, but not my issue. It wasn't me who did or didn't do whatever it is, so start fresh with me. I'm going to try to do the same. I may never even see you again, but I'd rather not see your open wounds out the gate.
Mystery people, that's all I'm asking. I know we say we'd rather know things up front, but do we really? We all have a tendency to judge people harshly based on a few little tid bits of information. And when we do that, we could be passing up the love of our lives, or great friend. Hell, in this town, even a good connect. I think it requires a bit of openness, which most of us lack. We could also work on tossing out our lists of deal breakers. Some of the things we pass people up for are the very things we ask people to accept in us. We also have to be willing to give the things we expect from people. If you aren't, even the people that love you to death will get tired and walk away.
I'm just saying, stop looking for what you can get out of people. Stop worrying that they won't make time for you or that they won't cook. Stop expecting people to cater to you and fix whatever problem you have. And stop asking people as soon as you meet them what they have to offer you. The truth is that you really won't know someone until you get to know them. And even then, they might surprise you...
For one...the dude was sitting across from me. You see me man, do I look like cooking is a problem for me? LOL The second reason is that we were about 5 minutes into a conversation and I was already getting a taste of what HE wanted. I really wanted to shoot back, "Do YOU cook? Can you buy a bag of groceries? Make a reservation? Drive thru? Something?" I don't know when this happened, but when did we start giving out the laundry list before we got to know someone?
I've noticed this with a lot of people, men and women. The mystery is gone completely. We're basically negotiating the deal. But, I hate that. How about we just get to know our potential suitors and potential friends naturally? Find out the information as you go and see what happens. We don't know how to do that anymore. We show up with a list of all the things that the previous people did that we didn't like. Then we play 20 question to see if the person we're talking to should be ruled out over the first cup of coffee.
Honestly, I don't think he meant anything by it, but I also don't think he even heard himself say it. OK, it doesn't actually hurt to know what annoys people up front. How many times have you sat around with your friends playing "I can't stand..."? We should be just as honest with everyone. But are we trying to get to know each other or are we just eliminating people?
How do we get anywhere with that really? Don't you have to bring something to the table as well? If you're trying so hard to see if I'm worth your effort, don't you think I'm doing the same thing? Then why try to beat each other to the punch? I really think it's bad form to tell people everything I need from them right of the bat. Doesn't that make me selfish?
Would you do that to your new friends? Just walk up and tell them, "I need you to support me when shit's going wrong or we can't kick it!" No, you get to know them and find out if they can be a supportive friend. What about a job interview? Could you even imagine walking in and telling the boss, "So what benefits do you offer, what's in this job for me?", before you've given them a reason to hire you? The first thing they'd think is, "And WHY exactly should you get the job?"
I give people a pass a lot and on this I did. It wasn't worth going back and forth. What it really shows me is that whatever experiences this man had left him wary of women. Understandable, but not my issue. It wasn't me who did or didn't do whatever it is, so start fresh with me. I'm going to try to do the same. I may never even see you again, but I'd rather not see your open wounds out the gate.
Mystery people, that's all I'm asking. I know we say we'd rather know things up front, but do we really? We all have a tendency to judge people harshly based on a few little tid bits of information. And when we do that, we could be passing up the love of our lives, or great friend. Hell, in this town, even a good connect. I think it requires a bit of openness, which most of us lack. We could also work on tossing out our lists of deal breakers. Some of the things we pass people up for are the very things we ask people to accept in us. We also have to be willing to give the things we expect from people. If you aren't, even the people that love you to death will get tired and walk away.
I'm just saying, stop looking for what you can get out of people. Stop worrying that they won't make time for you or that they won't cook. Stop expecting people to cater to you and fix whatever problem you have. And stop asking people as soon as you meet them what they have to offer you. The truth is that you really won't know someone until you get to know them. And even then, they might surprise you...
What you really really want...
Hey folks,
I've been having the same conversation with most of my friends. They're all frustrated with the opposite sex. Seriously, everyone is FRUSTRATED! So, it got me thinking. We can all tell you what we don't want. For me it's self centered guys (not men, guys), men that run hot and cold and immaturity. I want someone who's confident and comfortable in his skin, someone who knows who they are and doesn't make everything about him. Simple right? It should be, but it isn't.
Here's the issue. Can most people honestly tell you what they really REALLY want? Do they even know? Even my attached and married friends are finding out that they have lots of things in their relationship they don't necessarily want. They've grown and they've changed. But their relationship, and the person they are in the relationship with, has not.
It's even apparent in people's friendships, careers and lifestyles. We've got long lists of what we don't want, purely based on our negative experiences. But what do we want? I think shifting the focus from what we're running from to what we should be chasing will help us get to a better place. We'll no longer feel like our energy is wasted because it's getting us closer to being happy. How many of us put more energy into making other people happy than we do into being happy ourselves? Don't we put tons of energy into blocking the things and people we think will hurt us? I know did! Now I don't. Now, I have something to show for my energy, work and emotion. I'm no longer throwing it away on people who couldn't care less or on situations that are beyond my control. Come on, it's a much more peaceful life when you're concentrating on finding happiness rather than on avoiding misery.
So, I pose this question to the few people that stop by my blog...WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?
I've been having the same conversation with most of my friends. They're all frustrated with the opposite sex. Seriously, everyone is FRUSTRATED! So, it got me thinking. We can all tell you what we don't want. For me it's self centered guys (not men, guys), men that run hot and cold and immaturity. I want someone who's confident and comfortable in his skin, someone who knows who they are and doesn't make everything about him. Simple right? It should be, but it isn't.
Here's the issue. Can most people honestly tell you what they really REALLY want? Do they even know? Even my attached and married friends are finding out that they have lots of things in their relationship they don't necessarily want. They've grown and they've changed. But their relationship, and the person they are in the relationship with, has not.
It's even apparent in people's friendships, careers and lifestyles. We've got long lists of what we don't want, purely based on our negative experiences. But what do we want? I think shifting the focus from what we're running from to what we should be chasing will help us get to a better place. We'll no longer feel like our energy is wasted because it's getting us closer to being happy. How many of us put more energy into making other people happy than we do into being happy ourselves? Don't we put tons of energy into blocking the things and people we think will hurt us? I know did! Now I don't. Now, I have something to show for my energy, work and emotion. I'm no longer throwing it away on people who couldn't care less or on situations that are beyond my control. Come on, it's a much more peaceful life when you're concentrating on finding happiness rather than on avoiding misery.
So, I pose this question to the few people that stop by my blog...WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Folk Art, HOPE, The Rebirth and "Cool Asian Dudes"...
Friday night; Chinatown; Soul Sessions 5 year anniversary party. Half DJ night, with four DJs in four separate areas; Half street fair, with vendors selling everything from clothing to folk art to a Don Chow Taco Truck parked at the entrance. So here's a little bit of my night in pictures...
One of my favorite booths last night was DeLaLuna Designs. Check the out here>>>www.delalunadesigns.com. One thing not on their website is the super cool flasks and one of my favorite pieces, the guitar case>>>
We saw two great live sets by The Rebirth. Check them out at: http://www.myspace.com/therebirth
There's DJ Rashida spinning something...
I really wanted to get this Basquiat bag, but it had to wait...
Then there were the "Cool Asian Dudes", aptly chosen theme for the night. One thing about the music scene in LA, especially the scene off the commercially beaten path, is that it's color blind and ageless. There were Asians, Latinos, African Americans, Caucasians and grooving to the beat and having a great time. Some were too fly for words, some looked like soccer moms on a night off from the kids. Whatever your style, you can get in where you fit it when the music is playing in LA!
These guys were so much fun! We bumped into them, literally, when we were dancing to DJ Trouble Maker's 80's/90's set (He played IESHA! Come on!). We were also trying to fix Ena's necklace that popped apart during the night. One of the guys came over and offered to help saying "I'm Asian, I can fix anything!". He fixed it, actually he redesigned the front of the necklace. LOL His friends were cool as hell too. And their dance circle? WHAAAAAAAT? They were gettin it!
I also met Chris from H.O.P.E. (Helping Other People Everywhere) who were at the street fair raising awareness about the crisis in Darfur. They got involved after 2 of their directors witnessed the crisis first hadn and were inspired by the two kids who would eventually become the face of the organization. They've teamed with Shepard Fairey (best known for the Obama HOPE poster) and a host of other artist to create a great movement that we all can get involved with in our own way. Check out their website at>>>http://hopecampaign.org. Donate, buy some of the cool stuff they're got, get educated and then get involved!
We ended the night at Sy Smith's afterhours "The Breakfast Club" where DJ Kim Hill was spinning the almost old school jams. We chilled and people watched. Boy was there A LOT to watch! The 12am-5am crowd is a little bit of everything and a whole lot of different. But here's the view from our perch on the couch at 155 Loft...
Thursday, October 8, 2009
FIGHT CLUB
I posted the following statement on Twitter this week:
"Are we that conditioned for conflict that we don't know how to function in its absence?"
Well that, I'm finding out, is really he question. We don't know how to function in peace, we are comfortable in conflict. Humans gravitate toward the thing they are most comfortable with and the truth of the matter is, if you only know one thing, everything will scare you. Even the positive stuff.
But, look around you. I mean really look. How many people do you see get visibly agitated when nothing is poppin off? No drama, no conflict, no one to talk about, no one to fight with. Everything around them is peaceful. But they can't rest. So, they act out, pick fights and basically stay in defense mode with everyone they encounter.
Here's an example: I answered a phone call at work and was trying to help a woman. I let her vent and then told her we would respond. She was stuck, she was so ready to fight with me to get what she wanted. Here I was giving her exactly what she was asking for and she didn't know how to respond. So she made the same statements and asked the same questions with a different approach over and over. My answer remained the same. She was trying to pick a fight and I didn't respond.
Now that was a woman I didn't even know. But, look a the people we do know. How many people you know don't know how to accept positive things into their lives? We bend over backward trying to make them happy, but it really won't matter. When people aren't happy, you can't fix that for them. All you can do is be there for them, tell them the truth and let them figure it out. If not, you'll end up sinking into their unhappiness trying to pull them out.
The reason I'm bringing this up is because I've come across too many unhappy people this year. Totally unhappy people. Internally unhappy people. I don't even think people realize that they're unhappy, but this year has been so trying that everyone's true colors have come out. And in that process, those none too pretty roots have been uncovered. So, what do we do to lift our collective spirits?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)